Written by Jenn Berger, Silver Wheel Coaching Company www.silverwheelcoaching.com
What is self-care? We hear the term constantly. We are inundated with articles and social media posts telling us what we should be doing for self care. But have you noticed that some of this advice doesn’t feel right for you? Or maybe it seems like just another marketing ploy to sell products and services.
Regardless of the broader topic we are addressing, I always have clients deeply explore self-care that helps them in the present. We examine the six core realms of self-care and different types of rest. But before I explore this with anyone, we often must debunk common self-care myths.
#1 Self-care is selfish
How easily frustrated are you with yourself and others when you are physically and mentally drained? Can you really listen intently to the struggles of a friend or family member? We are more likely to behave like a martyr and become more selfish when we fail to practice self-care. Self-care is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and those around us.
#2 Self-care is expensive
Sometimes it requires spending a little money. Often, however, the most rewarding self-care practices cost no or little money. Self-care is not about luxurious indulgences. It is how we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Things like healthy food or cozy bed sheets cost a little money. Cuddling with the pets, savoring a glorious sunset, or calling a good friend just to say “hi” costs us nothing and rewards us greatly.
#3 Self-care takes too much time
Some practices can be time consuming, like taking a walk or doing tai chi. Other practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, setting boundaries, and advocating for yourself are done in the moment.
#4 Self-care should always feel good
Boundary setting or advocating for your needs doesn’t always feel great in the moment, but the long-term rewards are amazing. Similarly, journaling to explore your emotions or reactions can bring up a lot of things your conscious mind may rather avoid, but the sense of relief after you get to the bottom of what’s going on can be as refreshing as the smell of a summer rain shower.
#5 You’re never doing enough self-care
It is far too easy to get overwhelmed thinking of all the self-care you “should” be doing. First, take a moment to consider the source of these thoughts. Are you truly noticing a need to improve your self-care practices? Or are you being pressured by social media posts or articles pushing you to the latest trend or trying to convince you to buy the newest supplements? Discerning between good information and the hype of a quick fix can be difficult at times.
Next, we often practice far more basic self-care than we give ourselves credit for. Do you make sure you eat regularly? That’s self-care. If you already eat healthy food, that’s another piece of self-care you may not credit yourself for.
When you start to think of everything you could be doing, take a moment to reflect on what you already do. Be sure to include basic safety needs like housing and basic physical care like brushing your teeth. Then consider self-care practices that have become routine, whether that’s a cup of your favorite bedtime tea, listening to music, exercise, whatever it is you already do. It’s a lot easier to build a self-care structure when you can acknowledge your foundation is already in place!
#6 Self-care is a static routine
Flexibility and adaptability are essential in building a self-care plan! Our world is changing rapidly. Our personal lives and circumstances can change even faster. When life throws a curve ball our self-care must adapt, usually quickly. We need to reassess what our needs are in the new circumstances. Other times, we may discover we are continuing a practice that has grown ineffective or unnecessary simply because it’s become so routine.
A few self-care practices that were essential to me five years ago are no longer necessary, while other practices aren’t as effective. Then there are the ones that faded away until I suddenly remember them and wonder why I stopped. If they resonate with me still, I add those back in. Think about it like exercise: do you use the same exact exercise routine as you did 10 years ago? Probably not.
It comes down to this: explore what self-care is for you; what leaves you feeling refreshed and fulfilled. Change up your self-care practices, experiment, and have fun! If you are excited to learn more, Silver Wheel Coaching, LLC is happy to provide education and skills to help you thrive.
