Written by Judy ViaCava, founder of Soulshine Empowerment Coaching
You did it! You completed your prescribed treatments, you fought for your life with all the strength of a heavyweight boxer. Your surgeon, oncologist, radiologist, and entire healthcare team congratulated you and sent you on your way. Yay? You have been released and sent out into the world to navigate your post-cancer life, so why do you feel so lousy?
Here are two examples from my clients who expected to be happy upon hearing the good news that they won the fight, but felt more confused, discouraged, and lonely than before being diagnosed.
Diane had a difficult cancer to treat, and her doctors, experts in her particular type of cancer, threw every state-of-the-art treatment at her. It was a grueling, relentless year of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, which she systematically took on like a champ. As she counted down to the last infusion, she anticipated what it would feel like to ring the bell. When the time came, she, her husband, and the only available doctor faced that bell, and when Diane reached up to grab the string, it felt empty and meaningless. Where was the fanfare, the confetti, and the marching band that Diane felt she deserved? Didn’t she just win the fight of her life? Doesn’t anyone care?
Then there is Katie, the young mother of three rambunctious kids. Katie had a full, busy life before her diagnosis. Her fear about what would happen to her family if she didn’t survive was too overwhelming to think about, but the weight of the fear persisted. Fortunately, her treatments were successful, and over time her doctors released her from care. Shouldn’t that be something to celebrate? Why doesn’t she feel normal?
These two women are survivors, which is what the patient, medical team, family, and friends strive and hope for. The patient leans into her entire team to support her through the fight, and when the fight is over, the only one still in the arena is the patient. The bell rang, the doctors were gone, the friends stopped bringing meals, no more encouraging cards were delivered, and life went on for everyone else. Emptiness and loneliness overrode any joy that was expected. Life, as they knew it, felt topsy-turvy, and things that felt normal no longer feel important.
This is the aftermath of having cancer. Cancer is traumatic and hard, possibly the hardest thing anyone experiences: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It affects every part of one’s being unless she heals holistically. Until then, she cannot thrive.
How does someone become a thriver? Firstly, she must accept herself as a priority in her life. It is not selfish to place self-care as the number one priority for healing. Secondly, she must let go of what no longer serves her. Old beliefs, toxic situations, and sometimes even people need to be discarded to make space for something better to appear. Lastly, taking steps to have the dream of a happier, healthier life eventually becomes a reality, and the new “normal” emerges.
As a Cancer Journey coach, I enjoy seeing the transformation take place. There is a confident glow when a client puts down the gloves and steps out of the boxing ring, no longer needing to fight. This is thriving. This is the gift of cancer.
For a free consultation about your cancer journey or that of a loved one, please contact Judy at https://soulshineempowermentcoach.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Judy ViaCava was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012, and quickly found her purpose to coach other people who are on a cancer journey. She began her training with the international company, The Cancer Journey Institute (www.thecancerjourney.com), and has been working as a coach, trainer, and workshop facilitator ever since. She enjoys designing, organizing, and leading retreats for cancer survivors on their way to becoming true thrivers. Judy’s ability to shine a light on even the most difficult subjects, with a lightness and sometimes a little humor, illuminates the path towards hope.
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